So What is PCOS?

So what is PCOS?

The trouble with defining Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) lies in that it is not a disease per say, but it operates like one. In fact, three different sources from medical professionals on PCOS (journal, website, book) all state the jury is still out on this one.

Syndrome is derived the Greek syndrome translated to combination; thus, a syndrome is a combination of symptoms that characterize a particular condition (Merriam Webster). A disease is “a condition of the living animal or plant body or of one of its parts that impairs normal functioning and is typically manifested by distinguishing signs and symptoms” (Merriam Webster). So to differentiate in layman’s terms a disease we can see working and literally “distinguish the signs and symptoms” while a syndrome simply doesn’t always have signs that stand out like a sore thumb screaming “I’m PCOS! Treat me!” With a disease like cancer it attacks the body and doctors can utilize their knowledge of the signs of the disease to inform treatment. With a syndrome, doctors can anticipate the effects, but the doctors can’t truly tell you what it means per each individual. According to medical journalist Collette Harris PCOS is “a metabolic disorder that can cause hormonal imbalances and a whole array of symptoms” (1).The characteristics of PCOS vary and doctors had to put pieces of my “no period” puzzle together to determine a diagnosis. From my reading I have ascertained PCOS has boggled the minds of medical professionals. As my doctor put it “if you are in med school right now you are studying this condition” (Ziouras). The internationally renowned Mayo Clinic (Rochester, MN) clearly notes doctors do not know the cause of PCOS or its “cure.” Unfortunately, PCOS acts as one of the most common “hormonal disorders of women of reproductive age--” so many women deal with this affliction, yet have very few answers as to why they do (Mayoclinic.com).

Some women with PCOS struggle with weight gain (me), experience abnormal periods, excessive hair growth, hair loss, diabetes, skin tags, high blood pressure, mood swings, acne, and quite literally have cysts on their ovaries (Mayoclininc.com). But not every woman with PCOS has every symptom or same combination or the same severity. For example, for awhile I had only two of these symptoms, only late in college did I experience more. Thus the doctors treating me didn’t see enough symptoms to feel I had PCOS (that’s my guess anyways). After my dad died and the stress in my life with a new teaching job more of the symptoms compounded into my current combination of characteristics: weight gain, no period, diabetes, and fatigue. No tell-tale sign gave my doctor the diagnosis—she had to literally pick my life a part and examine my lifestyle as well as my blood and my cooch.

Early on after my diagnosis I realized understanding the complexities of PCOS is about as easy as building the Eiffel Tower in a day. As a fellow reader described “its not a one size fits all disorder.” Neither is treatment. Some doctors ask you to lose weight (weight loss helps a ton of women), others ask you to take medication, some give you a combination of ideas to try. There is no catch all remedy to ease this malady. For instance a reader wrote me describing her incredible weight loss (WOO HOO) which resulted in her bearing a healthy child, a healthy lifestyle, and healthy menstruation. By losing weight she was able to free herself from enough PCOS symptoms to get pregnant. My sister with PCOS had the same experience—after losing weight she suddenly found herself pregnant when she had no reason to think she could be. The treatment assigned to me has been to live and breathe as if I were a diabetic (I’m technically not). It’s become obvious through many doctor’s visits the most alarming symptom in me is my insulin resistance. I take 850 mg of Metformin three times a day, work out, menu plan, and try to be active. But as much as I try to shed pounds I can’t seem to fall below the 168 mark. My doctor says for me it’s more about not gaining anymore pounds and keeping a healthy metabolism. I changed my life, my grocery store habits, and how I approach food. Sometimes I cheat, but I don’t panic when I have a treat now and then. I avoid sugary foods, I watch my sodium intake, and I’ve banned certain items from the house. And I read about my particular condition, ways to combat its effects, and simple ideas for altering my lifestyle without feeling overwhelmed.

Don’t let PCOS debilitate you—I’ve learned this over the last few years. It’s no picnic in the park either. If you have PCOS or know someone who does I encourage you to advocate for support. This doesn’t necessarily require you to schedule an appointment for the therapist--- talk to someone, find support groups online or in person, or leave a comment on this blog. I can honestly say I have an inkling of what you may be experiencing.

Here’s some groups and links you might find helpful:
American Society of Reproductive Medicine: www.asrm.org
Mayo Clinic: www.mayoclinic.com
Project PCOS blog: www.projectpcos.org
PCOS Network: http://www.pcosnetwork.com/articles/about/

PCOS and Your Fertility by Collete Harris
Fertility Foods by Jeremy Groll MD

Women are virtuous creatures

Women serve as the most valiant and honorable beings I have ever had the privilege of encountering (as if I’ve met aliens). When I was little I used to brag, “I hate girls.” How could I detest the group of people like ones who have been sending me emails these past few days? I know I only have three official followers, but since I sent my link to people I knew via email the response has been incredible. Women have the capability to serve as a life force, a moral compass, and as an eternal symbol of bravery. We have the ability to simultaneously possess characteristics that render us strong, powerful, and warm as well as nurturing. How amazing? I’m stunned and honored by the stories you courageous women shared with me…you are the bravest people I know. Poignant experiences….. Thank you for allowing me to be part of something so painful, so emotional, and so personal. You are virtuous women.

Regards,
Jessica

Trying To Get Pregnant-- No Dice Just Yet

Ignore all the other crap I have attempted to blog about-- it makes me feel like a failure--great ideas, but no soul. A recent acquiantence I made told me I to blog about my life and the sweeping changes to my life as a result of my recent move to the Pacific Northwest. I'm taking her advice.

I moved here for two major reasons: my husband's job and to escape the seething reality of teaching in a highly political public school system. But the escape wasn't just to avoid the massive piles of papers to grade or the exhausting number of futile faculty meetings-- I had alterior motives for packing up and moving half-way across the country. I wanted to have a baby. I wanted my husband to want to have a baby. I wanted to swell up like a balloon for an actual reason rather than just my penchant for sweets. Where else could a girl get "knocked up" than in the outskirts of the civilization where there is nothing else to do but try and get pregnant?

So we moved with nothing in our pockets but enough gas money and credit to pay our first month's rent. The very stress of the move overwhelmed me-- were we making the right choice? I know people say "survive on love," but seriously "love" can't pay the bills, especially when you're ready to wring each other's necks. And now we are here-- living five minutes walk from the coastal waters of the Pacific in a small fishing/logging community and I'm not pregnant. I can't even stand to hear when other people announce "We are pregnant!" I think well good for you, now leave me alone. Celebrate with someone else. And then I feel guilt swoop in and tackle my heartstrings, "How could you not be happy for someone else? Stop wallowing you brat!" So I concede and feel elated for the couple, but in the caverns of my brain I keep telling myself, "Soon."



I always wanted to experience the joys and aches of motherhood. Growing up part of a large family, I felt motherhood and parenting was something I could easily acquire--I swear my mom concieved six kids just by thinking about sex. Yet I knew something was wrong when after years of a normal period, my "Aunt Flow" stopped visiting me on a regular basis. My mom and sisters assured me all young,athletic girls experience a fickle period as a result of constant physical activity. It was nothing to worry about; I secretly worried. During my high school years I experienced a sudden weight gain ballooning from a size 4 to a 14. I was the skinny sister and now I was the obese, depressed, not getting my period sister. But again, my family assured me there was nothing to worry about. Puberty does this to people. Something still felt awry.

During these teen years I engaged in unprotected sex with my then-boyfriend (now husband) and I thought for sure I'd end up pregnant as a teen. Without a period I also knew I'd have no warning if I had indeed become pregnant. At 18 I suddenly started bleeding...bleeding horribly. I contributed the massive discomfort and the heavy menstraution to simply just not having a period in two years. But then I noticed something in my blood. Beware reader-- this isn't pretty. Bits of a developing fetus sunk to the bottom of the toilet. My heart might as well flushed down the tubes with it. I flushed my baby. I didn't tell a soul-- I knew what happened. I wasn't going to tell anyone. Never. I vowed I wasn't having sex again; I didn't for two years.

Before I married my husband I confessed this experience to him. I felt he should know before he committed his life and love to a woman who would flush her first and only baby. I imagined some horrible response that would result in his leaving me. Instead, we sat and cried in each other's arms.

A few more miscarriages since and here we are in Washington starting the actual scientific process of getting pregnant. I find myself feeling pissed I didn't pay better attention in the Catholic natural family classes I endured before our marriage-- who knew science would agree with religious methods? A recent diagnosis of polycystic ovarian syndrome gave a name and reason for my earlier misgivings and anxiety regarding my absent period and my expanding waistline. I'm making appointments with ob/gyns and trying to convince my husband to make time to drive a few towns over to drop off his "swimmers" for testing.

My goal for this blog is to give creedence to the experience of dealing with infertility and to share an honest account accepting the path to pregnancy. I will compose a journal as I forge ahead, and I hope you share your thoughts and experiences as well. I hope to create a community of women who feel empowered in their quest to build a family rather than devasted by Mother Nature's mis-steps.